A new one by me...

[Them1tch]

http://www.savefile.com/files/333384

sorry only second time at uploading my films to net and am having trouble with compression rates blah etc.

Click the link and it takes you to a page.. the downlaod link is at the bottom of the page.

If you can be bothered to wait the 20mins to d/l this short film and add your comments i'd much appreciate it.

Mitch

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ December 13, 2006 10:24 AM: Message edited by: Them1tch ]</font>

[Them1tch]

Ok ok, so I'm not selling myself particularly well... 20 views and 5 downloads and 0 comments.

Here goes:

Black & Blue portrays a businessman's struggle between domestic violence and suicide.

Shot on location in Boston MA, USA in 2002(ish) i was written by Paul Mitchell (me) and starred Emmy Award winning comedian Paul Wagner.

This is the first time that it has ever been online as we have both been sidetracked by different projects/careers.

To be brutal, it didn't turn out the way that I had it in my mind and the directional license took over and the plot changed a little.

Notwithstanding this, I'm pretty pleased with this, only my 2nd ever production.

I ask for your comments and areas for improvements, whether it is about the dialogue, acting or visuals.

Enjoy

Mitch

[miker]

I haven't had a chance to watch it all, but I have downloaded it and skipped through bits. From what I can tell underneath all that compression, production values look pretty good, and the title sequence set a certain mood that made me think "i'm gonna have to set some quality time aside to watch this one". Expect comments from me at a later date.

[Them1tch]

for those who prefer the youtube avenues... watch it here:

YouTube - Black & Blue

[miker]

Ok, here are my thoughts in no particular order:

I know it's 10 minutes long and a 14mb download, but I suggest giving it some H264/AAC love. Good quality sound can carry a bad picture, but in its current compressed form it has neither.

Not sure if it's the compression but in places I kept thinking "missing fill light!" or "get a reflector!"

The voiceover narration has a nasty background hiss. Nasty.

SPOILER (and the Spoiler tag doesn't seem to work)
I think you're trying to be too clever in the edit. I'm all for non-linear timelines and events, but it looks like you have no good dramatic reason for doing what you did other than maybe you saw Pulp Fiction one day. I don't understand why we see the woman get shot, then hear her voice in the last shot? I can deal with the non-linear order of attempted suicide of the guy, but I see no good reason to mess with bringing her back. I think it would have more dramatic impact to dwell on the accidental shooting and then reveal the attempted hanging fail. In effect you are then saying he tried to hang himself after accidently shooting his wife RATHER than currently saying that accidently shooting his wife was the last thing he did. (because his wife is still alive after the hanging cos we hear her voice).

It's not too bad, but I think the story could be made stronger in the edit.

[Them1tch]

cheers fella, i might have a go at giving it some H264/AAC love.

You're prob right about the missing fill light.

The problem is that when I wrote it it was supposed to be completely linear. His wife WASN'T supposed to live and the guy was supposed to have been killed by all the ways he had initially tried to kill himself.

His release was her death, but in killing her, he himself died.

If I had may I would have (an did in the script) leave out the whole hanging thing at the end.

Damn those directors....